Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Hurricane Paulo

DUBLIN, September 27 - Last night a tropical depression named Paulo formed in Dublin city center in The Olympia. Despite the hot and humid conditions during the Maximo Park gig there just wasn't enough time or space to sustain any dangerous air guitars or scissor kicks.

However, Declan Murphy from Met Eireann has warned that the storm is far from finished. "We have been keeping a close eye on this storm during the last few weeks and we think that there is a very high potential for some serious damage. There have only been a few disturbances during the last couple of weeks but we have reason to believe that things are going to get a lot worse before they get better. After the Maximo gig last night the depression settled down but it looks to be gaining strength again today and we fear that it will increase to a tropical storm by about 9pm this evening. Paulo is a lot more concentrated on The Bluetones in The Village and we think he will be able to relate to the band and feed off their set a bit better than Maximo. We are also very worried about the larger venue which of course provides the opportunity for prolonged bouts of air guitar and more violent scissor kicks".

Following tonights gig it seems that the storm will head south to Spain by the end of the week and could create some chaos down there for just over 7 days. Then, if the predictions are correct, the following 3 weeks should be fairly quiet with just a few tropical disturbances here and there most likely on the weekends. But the big fear is October 30th - the bank holiday Monday night.

"Oh, it will be very, very bad" says Declan. I think last night was a teaser and tonight will be a bit of a taster but make no mistake Paulo will attain hurricane status for the We Are Scienists gig in The Ambassador on October 30th. This storm will be extremely organised and disturbed with perturbations and gale force winds that we have not seen since the Ned's gig in London last summer. It will be a major, intense hurricane and we can not even estimate the amount of air guitar playing, windmills and scissor kicks that will occur. There is also the extreme possibility of tsunami-like effects from prolonged, sustained crowd surfing. Ned's was bad but Paulo is really, really focused on this gig. The damage from WAS will be extremely widespread and the destruction could be enormous".

The management team from The Village have taken the warning on board and are said to be taking some precautions for this evening. However, the management from The Ambassador were unavailable for comment.

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